…and if I must be taken and used in this way, and it is based on some ‘need’ what is this need? Emotional? Financial? Or just stuff?

Buying and selling of different commodities.  This is Europe where even the garbage emanating from the economy is capable of looking spectacular, charming so to speak.  This is Europe, where humans who have been reduced to desperation troop into, in the hope of at least being able to labour, perhaps as the garbage bin for some of this eye-catching waste.

Quite like asking to be used, l asked for disposable items from friends, because l earnestly and desperately needed them.  And friends were kind enough to go through the trouble of gathering these bags (garbage) for me.  I would not be able to carry on with this project without their generosity and cooperation. But l was ashamed each time that l absorbed their disposable debris from them.

Quite like walking the streets, l walked shops where people enjoyed themselves shopping, l did not enjoy any bit of it; l walked by the bottle machine, collecting plastic bags that nobody else would have.  I absorbed this useful but strange garbage like these women would absorb these useful but strange men and all that deliver.  I was grateful that l could have these bags since l was desperate. I would not succeed if the shopkeepers did not cooperate by letting me have their cast-offs.  I was not doing anything wrong, but each time l walked there, l was ashamed to be associated with a depositing area at a place where reasonable people walked, in a culture that I do not completely understand. 

Even so, I could not know enough yet, of the kind of shame.

But then this is Europe.  Several fellow Nigerian women flux in here, and let their bodies become dumping bins into where everyone and anyone can empty their charming (lucrative) garbage.  
These men and women are desperate, and therefore aren't they required to at least show gratitude?  They might not succeed (in life) if the targeted people do not cooperate.

Who is the victim here?